Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Diagnostic Essay 1 & 2

ORIGINAL:

It was Fall 2002, and I was “supposed” to be a freshman at Western Carolina University. I was five hours away from home and I was on my own. When I first started classes, I attended regularly. A couple of months into the semester I just stopped going completely. I partied way too hard. Went to bed at all hours of the morning. Woke up late in the afternoon, and did it all over again. Nearly everyday until January, I was a nonstop party girl. Then, my friend introduced me to a local guy and we began the “dating process.” Sometime in January I found out there was a little one growing in my belly. As scary as it was, being nineteen, no college degree, no husband, nothing but me and the bundle of joy, I was really looking forward to being a mom.
For so long through those nine months I wanted to give up. I looked into adoption agencies. I was so unsure of myself and wasn’t sure if I wanted to put a child through the same pain I was going through. I remember one day, walking down the beach with my daddy and finally making up my mind. I remember telling him, “I know I can do this. Having this child is the one thing that would keep my head on straight.” At this time, the “father” was no longer in the picture. Apparently, it was too large of a responsibility for him to handle.
August 27, 2003 at 11:13am, my little Sydney was born. It was the greatest experience I have ever gone through. She was so perfect with her soft skin, baby blue eyes, and a full head of golden blonde, wavy hair. I couldn’t have asked for anything more beautiful.
For the first eight months of her life we lived with my parents. I worked at night while my parents cared for her. The only thing I could pay for with that paycheck was an old, beat up Buick. During those eight months I was on again, off again with her “father.”
Then, this wonderful man came into my life. We fell in love fast and since she was nine months old, she has been calling him daddy. He took my daughter and I in and after a year of dating, we were married. Sydney was just as in love as I was. It took nearly a year for her “father” to relinquish his rights. But, as soon as he did, my husband was able to legally adopt her. He has always considered her his very own flesh and blood.
The year 2006 was a tough year for all of us. My son was born premature in February and there was a little complication. A week after his birth, we were finally able to go home. We stayed with my parents for a month until the Navy decided to move us across the country to California.
The week before we moved, Sydney’s symptoms kicked in. We thought it was just a bug and she would be fine after a few days. It took us six days to drive cross-country with a two year old and a one month old, stopping every two hours to feed and change the baby. By the time we got there, Sydney was worse. She was constantly dehydrated; her skin was like a ghost’s. We took her to the hospital wanting to fix something minor.
I had recently read in a magazine the symptoms of diabetes. Sydney had 3 out of 5 of those symptoms. Having that mother’s intuition, I had them check her glucose levels. Sure enough, my adorable little girl was a Type 1 Diabetic. Those next two weeks were the hardest of my life. Not only was I 3,000 miles away from family and friends, but also I added a one month old to that, along with a diabetic. Every single day for nearly a month, I was breaking down in tears. I kept asking myself, “Why me? Why am I always being thrown curve balls?”
For the past 2 years, 4 months and nearly 23 days, Sydney has had her glucose checked 4 times a day. She has received 4 shots a day. She will have this for life. Yet, she is still so normal. It seriously has broken my heart more than hers. She lives with being “stuck” everyday and thinks it’s just a way of life. While as I am giving her these shots, my mind goes back to that very day when we received the news of her Diabetes. This year, my little girl is starting kindergarten. It is so hard for me to believe that five years ago she was just a little 6lb 9oz baby who could barely open her eyes. Now she is 5 going on 21! She has changed my life in so many ways. I may have done everything in the wrong order, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Sydney truly is the greatest influence in my life. She loves whole-heartedly and never takes a day for granted. I want to be her when I grow up.


REVISED:

Life is full of disappointments. Not just for myself, but for my parents as well. Receiving bad grades in high school was a disappointment to my parents. Getting involved with the wrong people in high school was a disappointment to both my parents and myself. Not going to class the first time around in college was a disappointment to my parents. Finding out I was pregnant at nineteen was a disappointment to both. Gradually, I got used to the idea of having a little one. I was the most irresponsible, carefree person I knew. How would I handle a baby? I was completely scared, especially since the father of my baby wanted nothing to do with me or her. Throughout the pregnancy I changed my mind constantly. I was in contact with adoption agencies. I wanted to have the baby but at the same time I wanted to be young and vibrant. Basically, I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. I was completely unsure of my decision until the day my dad helped me make the biggest decision of my life. As we were walking along the beach, I looked into my father's eyes and was no longer unsure. He played a big part in my decision to have her. While my mother wanted me to live a full, happy life before making the decision to take on such a responsibility, my father agreed with me. I told him, "I know what I want. I know having this child will help me keep my head on straight and she is what I need to be happy." At that moment, he helped me pick out her name. Sydney. My father plays such a huge rold in my life, even today, two kids and a husband later. I will always look up to him. Here I thought he would be less understanding and I was scared to even tell him about my pregnancy. Since then, I have been able to tell him pretty much anything. He is the greatest man I never knew growing up. We hardly agreed on anything in high school and then Sydney comes along and she has been our magnet. She is the reason for the great relationship I have with my father now. On August 27, 2003, my dad joined me in the operating room for a c-section. He was there with me through it all. He was the only man in Sydney's life until she was nearly two. For the first twenty-one months of her life my parents paid for everything, with the exception of the beat up car I owned. We lived with them and they didn't ask for a thing from me. I am so grateful to have the family that I do. The year 2006 was a tough year for all of us. My son was born premature in February and there was a little complication. A week after his birth, we were finally able to go home. We stayed with my parents for a month until the Navy decided to move us across the country to California.The week before we moved, Sydney’s symptoms kicked in. We thought it was just a bug and she would be fine after a few days. It took us six days to drive cross-country with a two year old and a one month old, stopping every two hours to feed and change the baby. By the time we got there, Sydney was worse. She was constantly dehydrated; her skin was like a ghost’s. We took her to the hospital wanting to fix something minor.I had recently read in a magazine the symptoms of diabetes. Sydney had 3 out of 5 of those symptoms. Having that mother’s intuition, I had them check her glucose levels. Sure enough, my adorable little girl was a Type 1 Diabetic. Those next two weeks were the hardest of my life. Not only was I 3,000 miles away from family and friends, but also I added a one month old to that, along with a diabetic. Every single day for nearly a month, I was breaking down in tears. I kept asking myself, “Why me? Why am I always being thrown curve balls?”For the past 2 years and 8 months, Sydney has had her glucose checked at least 4 times a day. She has received 4 shots a day. She will have this for life. Yet, she is still so normal. It seriously has broken my heart more than hers. She lives with being “stuck” everyday and thinks it’s just a way of life. While as I am giving her these shots, my mind goes back to that very day when we received the news of her Diabetes. This year, my little girl is graduating from kindergarten. It is so hard for me to believe that five years ago she was just a little 6lb 9oz baby who could barely open her eyes. Now she is 5 going on 21! She has changed my life in so many ways. I may have done everything in the wrong order, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Sydney truly is the greatest influence in my life. She loves whole-heartedly and never takes a day for granted. I want to be her when I grow up.

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